TWT
Issue #2
White Noise Calculus
by G. Sax
June 15, 1990
- This section of THE WHALE TIMES (TWT) will be devoted to any interesting, enticing, and newsworthy events that subscribers might be interested in. No restrictions have been set so far as to what is "news" in the Whale Time arena, so here's a good place to make your mark in the newsletter.
- Alison Fong has taken a job at Yosemite National Park for the summer thus branching our humble midwestern publication to the great California wilderness. Good luck with the animals (a.k.a., tourists) and send some pictures of really big women in lawn chairs.
- Neza and Rachel have themselves a wild new hang' for good foot stomping, suds-sucking fun. Yes, they're now living together in Neza's longtime home. According to the two partytime college girls, "late night parties are a must, dude." I'm sure Neza's mother would be thrilled with your company.
- Pete, Greg, and Cassel have recently survived a weekend trip to the heart of Chicago. Though a total of six hours of devastating, construction-caused traffic made driver-Greg a bit touchy, the three Badgers enjoyed their visits to the Chicago Institute of Arts, the John Hancock Tower, historic Comiskey Park (home of the White Sox!), the original Pizzeria Uno (the birthplace of pan-style pizza), and a whole stickload of other fanciful locales.
- Pete and Greg will be making a rare Twin Cities appearance from June 15th to the 18th. Catch 'em before they disappear again.
- Nancy "Girly-Bob" Straube will be returning to her home in Shoreview after an extended stay in Baldwin, New York as a nanny. She will be speaking at the Mounds View Public Library about her dreadful experiences with the deadly little folk. Stay tuned.
- The fourth Scavanger (sic) Hunt is slated for sometime this summer. I'd give you a date if I knew, but it looks like you'll have to contact Tip if you want to sign a team up.
- Jeff Whitman and Matt Groening are the same person.
- Nezafest '90 was a mild, homespun success. I must apologize for whipping it up as a huge summer festival for Whale Timers, because it turns out that the guest list was made up before the first TWT came out. According to the hosts, Neza and Rachel, the party was a lot of fun and went almost trouble-free. The only blemishes were a few idiots who yelled out into the quiet St. Anthony Park neighborhood at 1 a.m., and a small group of boys who "pretended" to be homosexual.
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