Tony and Ganymede

I always knew that my buddy Tony would go crazy one day but, I wasn't prepared when it happened. Tony Palermo's column, "TipTone Presents," can be found on this same website. A group of us were sitting around the table at one of my favorite watering holes discussing the latest gossip and personal triumphs.

Tony's wife, Sarah, had just finished regaling us with a tale of how she found a ball of yarn for 65 cents at some hippie knitting store when Tony, out of the blue, blurted out...

"I need a change in my life, and I'm taking up falconry!"

I was as shocked as anyone there. After a very long, awkward pause, I asked him, "Do you have a bird picked out?" I figured I better show some interest just in case he was serious.

He was.

"Yes, I'm buying a peregrine falcon next week. His name is Ganymede."

"Geez, Tony. Do you mean Ganymede as in the seventh moon of Jupiter."

I had astronomy in college.

"Yes, he is already partially trained and if you change their names, it can really mess them up. They get angry and either tear your face off or fly away."

He was either stretching out a tall tale or he was serious and had done his homework.

Well, sure enough, Tony picked up his falcon the following week, and Sarah had a new addition to her family.

"The fucking thing takes the smelliest shits in the house and it shrieks all damn night! Tony told me it would stop once it got acclimated to the new house, but it's been a fuckin' week! But if it makes Tony happy, I'll learn to deal with it."

Now, he is one of those weirdos who goes out in public with his odd pet. I snapped this photo of him at an outdoor festival this spring.

Weird, eh? So I asked him why he suddenly took up this hobby.

"I've always liked birds," he said. "I always wanted to be an animal trainer in Hollywood. This is my ticket in."

Strange.

You can catch "Tony's Amazing Falconry" show at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival on the weekends from August 18 through September 30.