Call Me E.

Call Me E.
all stories and essays by Sean Rein

10 Years With the Netmonkey

September 16, 2005 will mark the tenth anniversary of my marriage to the beautiful woman pictured above. That photo was taken on a very warm morning in July of this year on Lake Mille Lacs in central Minnesota. It was a great way to spend a lazy summer morning with the woman that I am still madly in love with.

Most people don't want to hear a man profess his feelings for his wife, and I am no exception. Heck, just read my fictitious article about birdhouse manufacturing. Most of you liked that one because it's fun to complain about your current spouse. Heck, some of my favorite pet names for her are Hag and The Old Battle Ax.

She has had many pet names in the past, including Stabby, Crackers, Nurse Ratchet, Irish, Southern Comfort, and simply Angry. The one she will never shake is Huggiebear...yes, after the pimp/informant on "Starsky and Hutch."

However, it has been ten great years that I wouldn't trade for anything. If you saw the pictures of all the big fish I caught this year (check my archives), she flawlessly put the net to every one of them. Thus the latest nickname that I have for her; Netmonkey. The poor thing loves to go fishing, but most of the time she ends up with the duties of a net lackey.

God bless her.

It's a curse and a blessing that she loves fishing. For most guys, going fishing is a way to get away from the wife. For us, it's our time together. We are not like other couples that have to schedule dates or "together" time.

Huggiebear and I load up the boat and head out for a morning of fishing and each other's company.

That's the hardest thing to explain to other people. Fishing is our time together, and I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. It's the secret to our successful marriage and is also one of many reasons that our relationship will last forever.

Oh, she has her bad points, but this ain't the time nor the place. We are here to talk about The Netmonkey's finer points.

According to my handy dandy almanac, the tenth anniversary present is diamond jewelry. Does she want that? No, she wants to go muskie fishing on that blessed day. Who am I to say no to something like that. I'm only here to cater to her every wish. If she wants me to drag out the boat and drive 100 miles to one of the greatest lakes in the nation to fish for muskies, who am I to say no.

Heck, she not only said that it was okay to drop $16,000 on a new boat last year, she went with me to help pick it out.

I'm one lucky fucker.

Here's to you, Netmonkey. I have always loved you, and I know that I always will.