Whale Time: Re: Avram

Re: Avram
Life Awake: Part 1 of 5

all stories by Avram Klein

jdate

I rented my place, I've got no car, I was approved for retroactive unemployment benefits, my landlord deposited my last month's rent and all my checks bounced.

I joined an online Jewish dating service called jdate.com, wrote a lot of Jewish girls, and was asked to the same movie from the Jewish Film Festival twice and can't go to either because I don't have a car.

There's one girl who wrote that she likes Phish and the Grateful Dead. She's from DC and was new in town when she joined the service. I wrote her and told her I play conga drums at hippy hill in GGB. She sent me her number and I called her today. She seemed really nervous, I think because I don't have a picture on jdate.

She seems really cool and kind of sounded like the girl from the rock band on the Muppets. I'm going to call her back tonight. Her name is Merva. She invited me to this movie about a Persian supermodel in Paris who falls in love with a Jewish dentist and becomes a Jew so she can teach him about his religion. I was invited to the same movie by a girl who lives in Sausalito and is a media journalist. She is five foot one and cute and named Aleza.

There's a girl from Montréal on jdate who is like twice as good looking as Elle McPherson. She only has one picture, but I think it's a real picture because she looks really French and Jewish. The picture is so out of control and then her profile is like, "the perfect date for me would be like some coffee, light conversation, a kiss on the cheek, and home by ten." All right man, take it easy.

Go to Part 2