Re: Avram
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all stories and essays by Avram Klein

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Re: Avram




A Dog Story

I broke my pinky finger while punching my dog.

Molly was a large, black poodle that listened to no commands and was trained for dog shows as a puppy by a guy with scars all over his face in a school in Oakland more known for creating attack dogs.

I was terrorizing my brother, Noah, and there was a door with like a spring latch. I attacked my brother for wanting to watch a show I thought was for girls or something and pushed him, screaming through the door.

As I pushed Noah through the door, my dog bit me on the ass. Being the absolute tyrant that I was, I turned around and hit my dog with my fist on the back and broke my pinky finger. It was pretty crazy.

Molly was completely fine, but it surprised her. So I had this cast in high school for a while from hitting my dog. I would tell messed up jokes about it so everybody knew.

The thing that happened was we had a substitute teacher who seemed a little skittish around teenagers, so while everybody was leaving class I started bragging in front of her about how I hit my dog and broke my hand.

After that, the cops and the humane society started showing up at my house demanding to see my dog. My mom would just be like, here, look, the dog's fine. It was pretty crazy.

Of course it was wrong to hit my dog, but people hit dogs, man. I hit him, but I didn't realize how much danger was involved. While I was at summer camp and my mom was out of town, my dad locked Molly in the bathroom for way too long because she barked all the time and the neighbors were always pissed off and Molly dug halfway through the Sheetrock to get out. My dad ended up putting a second door on the bathroom where the damage was and aparently she disappeared into the woods.

The other crazy thing that happened was that Molly mated with this like local dog that would come around and knock over our trash.

My dog was always tied to the front of the house on a tether and when my mom saw that dog having sex with our dog, she got so pissed and just looked at the dog and the dog ran down the front steps of our house.

But Molly like clenched up and was stuck to the other dog but was still tied to the front of the house and the tether pulled tight and my dog was tied to the house by her neck, not to mention being pulled backwards down the steps by the other dog who was stuck inside of her and was trying to pull away.

So my mom got the hose and sprayed in between them until the dog pulled loose.

It was one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen.

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